E-mail: Brian7Morris "at" hotmail.com Archives March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 current Blogs Mandapants farkleberries Uranium City Records The C.M. Sienko Foundation Storyteller Musings Solotarian Views Lynne Wiora Tek Poker News Blog Some Biscuits Evil Eye Emporium Niggling Doubts Pressure Release Sara as Mommy runswithscissors Defective Yeti Afternoon Delight trancejen The Terrarium Bird Nird Slipperily Tofu Hut Stereo Gum Links Fixed Gear Gallery Get Crafty This is Grand Featherproof Books Gapers Block Chicago Bird Watching	No one must know my terrible secret... House of Noh! Monday, June 21, 2004 Uncle Milton seems like a totally chilled out dude. I know because, being the newly retired and aspiring man-of-leisure that I am, yesterday I ambled down to the Big Thrift Shop in my neighborhood and purchased a bunch of old media ($1.00 each!). I spent the rest of the afternoon drinking a pot of Earl Grey tea, listening to Foghat records and reading Questions and Answers about Ants from cover to cover. My favorite part of the book is where Uncle Milton relates to the reader a personal ant experience he once had. Uncle Milton writes that he was once enjoying a peach at home while looking out the window. He saw an ant on the windowsill, and put a small portion of the peach in the ant’s path. The ant found the bit of peach, took a taste, then hurried back in the direction from which it came, into a little hole in the side of the wood window frame. Uncle Milton writes that within a few minutes, ants began racing out of the little hole toward the peach. After ten minutes there were fifteen ants, sucking on the peach, and after a half hour there were fifty ants on the peach. Uncle Milton says that the ants kept sucking on the peach until, after an hour and a half, there was nothing left. Then the ants all ran back through that little hole in the wood. Before this ant experience, Uncle Milton writes that he wasn’t aware of a nest of ants living in his house. But come on Uncle Milton! Protest all you will, but a little nest of Pogonomyrmex in your windowsill has got to be the least of your worries! Everybody knows that if you’re the type of guy who’ll spend hours watching ants you discovered on your windowsill, then you probably live in a big old house all by yourself with at least three rooms filled with stacks upon stacks of old National Geographics and mouse turds. Further, all the neighborhood kids call you “Weird Uncle Milton,” you probably sleep on a cot in the kitchen, and you feed your table scraps to the badger family living underneath the storage shed in back by dangling morsels into their burrow with a long pair of chopsticks. Sorry Uncle Milton, that’s just the way the world seems to work. As for my other purchases at the Thrift Shop, I also picked up some foreign language books. One of the ways I’m going to spend my retirement is by learning a second language, and I found a few really comprehensive language books. It’s cool because my language study is already paying dividends. I was at the English/Spanish Laundromat this morning, trying to speak with the owner, a native Spanish speaker, and the little I’ve already read was actually quite helpful. I said, “jo‘, mIqta-lIj belHa’ Sut-wI’. JI-poQ choH-wI’chegh!” which means “Your machinery displeased my clothing. I demand my change returned to me!” in Klingon. Brian 3:57 PM Comments: Post a Comment

E-mail: Brian7Morris "at" hotmail.com

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farkleberries
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Storyteller Musings
Solotarian Views
Lynne Wiora
Tek
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Some Biscuits
Evil Eye Emporium
Niggling Doubts
Pressure Release
Sara as Mommy
runswithscissors
Defective Yeti
Afternoon Delight
trancejen
The Terrarium
Bird Nird
Slipperily
Tofu Hut
Stereo Gum

House of Noh!

Monday, June 21, 2004

Uncle Milton seems like a totally chilled out dude. I know because, being the newly retired and aspiring man-of-leisure that I am, yesterday I ambled down to the Big Thrift Shop in my neighborhood and purchased a bunch of old media ($1.00 each!). I spent the rest of the afternoon drinking a pot of Earl Grey tea, listening to Foghat records and reading Questions and Answers about Ants from cover to cover. My favorite part of the book is where Uncle Milton relates to the reader a personal ant experience he once had. Uncle Milton writes that he was once enjoying a peach at home while looking out the window. He saw an ant on the windowsill, and put a small portion of the peach in the ant’s path. The ant found the bit of peach, took a taste, then hurried back in the direction from which it came, into a little hole in the side of the wood window frame. Uncle Milton writes that within a few minutes, ants began racing out of the little hole toward the peach. After ten minutes there were fifteen ants, sucking on the peach, and after a half hour there were fifty ants on the peach. Uncle Milton says that the ants kept sucking on the peach until, after an hour and a half, there was nothing left. Then the ants all ran back through that little hole in the wood. Before this ant experience, Uncle Milton writes that he wasn’t aware of a nest of ants living in his house. But come on Uncle Milton! Protest all you will, but a little nest of Pogonomyrmex in your windowsill has got to be the least of your worries! Everybody knows that if you’re the type of guy who’ll spend hours watching ants you discovered on your windowsill, then you probably live in a big old house all by yourself with at least three rooms filled with stacks upon stacks of old National Geographics and mouse turds. Further, all the neighborhood kids call you “Weird Uncle Milton,” you probably sleep on a cot in the kitchen, and you feed your table scraps to the badger family living underneath the storage shed in back by dangling morsels into their burrow with a long pair of chopsticks. Sorry Uncle Milton, that’s just the way the world seems to work. As for my other purchases at the Thrift Shop, I also picked up some foreign language books. One of the ways I’m going to spend my retirement is by learning a second language, and I found a few really comprehensive language books. It’s cool because my language study is already paying dividends. I was at the English/Spanish Laundromat this morning, trying to speak with the owner, a native Spanish speaker, and the little I’ve already read was actually quite helpful. I said, “jo‘, mIqta-lIj belHa’ Sut-wI’. JI-poQ choH-wI’chegh!” which means “Your machinery displeased my clothing. I demand my change returned to me!” in Klingon.

Brian 3:57 PM

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House of Noh!

Monday, June 21, 2004