E-mail: Brian7Morris "at" hotmail.com Archives March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 current Blogs Mandapants farkleberries Uranium City Records The C.M. Sienko Foundation Storyteller Musings Solotarian Views Lynne Wiora Tek Poker News Blog Some Biscuits Evil Eye Emporium Niggling Doubts Pressure Release Sara as Mommy runswithscissors Defective Yeti Afternoon Delight trancejen The Terrarium Bird Nird Slipperily Tofu Hut Stereo Gum Links Fixed Gear Gallery Get Crafty This is Grand Featherproof Books Gapers Block Chicago Bird Watching	No one must know my terrible secret... House of Noh! Thursday, January 06, 2005 A difficult day today: 8:48am - mixed too much sea salt into my neti wash. Oh how it STINGS! 9:24am - ripped favorite pair of pants attempting to leap into them both legs at a time and thus prove that I am no ordinary man who would put his pants on one leg at a time like all other ordinary men 10:57am - bit inside of lip while chewing 1:23pm - out walking on an errand and slipped and fell and got all wet and cold in a pile of slushy snow. Note to stupid woman wearing dumb fuzzy hat and walking that silly dog: if you want people to think that you care, don’t laugh while asking them if they are okay. 5:34pm - heated argument regarding lumber prices with Carlos (not skilled at diplomacy, this Carlos is) at the local hardware store, angrily marched out of store while announcing to other hardware shoppers that I was going to walk to Home Depot for their “vastly superior prices” 6:21pm - discovered that identical pieces of lumber at Home Depot are more expensive 6:25pm - inadvertently reenacted that Three Stooges move where you swing long boards around and wreak havoc at checkout. Home Depot employees and patrons not amused. The very worst part about today happened around early afternoon as I was walking past that nursing home on Diversey. There was this really old woman pulling a shaky old man out the front door of the building. She must have been in a hurry or something. It was really sunny and all the fresh snow on the ground made it really bright outside. The woman was pulling this guy along by one hand but I think it was so bright the guy needed time for his eyes to adjust. The light didn’t bother the woman, for whatever reason. She kept trying to pull the guy down the icy, slippery stairs. The guy tried to stand there for a bit, just outside the door, but the woman kept pulling and he started screaming to his wife (or whoever she was), “I can’t see! I can’t see!” But the woman didn’t care, she turned back to him, and with a really cross voice hissed “Shut-up! You can see just fine!” and kept trying to pull him down the stairs. The old guy desperately waved his free hand around until he was able to find and grab the railing. He held on with that hand while the woman tried to pull him down the stairs by his other. “I’m blind! I’m going to fall! I can’t see! I’m blind!” he kept shouting. The woman kept shouting back at him stuff like, “don’t you lie to me you pathetic bastard, you can see just fine! You’re about as blind as I am! You’re a lying son of a bitch!” and really mean stuff like that. What’s worse, there was a second old woman there too. I think she was friends with the first old woman. The three of them must travel together. When the old guy finally stopped their progress by grabbing onto that railing, the second old woman stopped halfway down the stairs and stood there, looking back at the old man and backing up all the mean stuff the first old woman said. The second woman saying stuff like, “Is he lying again, Edna? He is pathetic, that’s for sure. Son of a bitch, that’s right on!” The way both those old women were talking about that old guy, like he was some worthless dog who kept crapping inside or something, it really made me mad… those two old women were being bullies. It all made me want to run over to that second woman, slap those big terminator glasses old people wear off her face and that knit beanie off her head and start bumping my chest into her shriveled old one and shout, “You like it two against one!? You like it that way?! How about a fair fight!?! Just you and me!?! Bring it! Bring it, you old bitch!” But don’t worry, I didn’t. Brian 10:28 PM Comments: Post a Comment

E-mail: Brian7Morris "at" hotmail.com

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House of Noh!

Thursday, January 06, 2005

A difficult day today: 8:48am - mixed too much sea salt into my neti wash. Oh how it STINGS! 9:24am - ripped favorite pair of pants attempting to leap into them both legs at a time and thus prove that I am no ordinary man who would put his pants on one leg at a time like all other ordinary men 10:57am - bit inside of lip while chewing 1:23pm - out walking on an errand and slipped and fell and got all wet and cold in a pile of slushy snow. Note to stupid woman wearing dumb fuzzy hat and walking that silly dog: if you want people to think that you care, don’t laugh while asking them if they are okay. 5:34pm - heated argument regarding lumber prices with Carlos (not skilled at diplomacy, this Carlos is) at the local hardware store, angrily marched out of store while announcing to other hardware shoppers that I was going to walk to Home Depot for their “vastly superior prices” 6:21pm - discovered that identical pieces of lumber at Home Depot are more expensive 6:25pm - inadvertently reenacted that Three Stooges move where you swing long boards around and wreak havoc at checkout. Home Depot employees and patrons not amused. The very worst part about today happened around early afternoon as I was walking past that nursing home on Diversey. There was this really old woman pulling a shaky old man out the front door of the building. She must have been in a hurry or something. It was really sunny and all the fresh snow on the ground made it really bright outside. The woman was pulling this guy along by one hand but I think it was so bright the guy needed time for his eyes to adjust. The light didn’t bother the woman, for whatever reason. She kept trying to pull the guy down the icy, slippery stairs. The guy tried to stand there for a bit, just outside the door, but the woman kept pulling and he started screaming to his wife (or whoever she was), “I can’t see! I can’t see!” But the woman didn’t care, she turned back to him, and with a really cross voice hissed “Shut-up! You can see just fine!” and kept trying to pull him down the stairs. The old guy desperately waved his free hand around until he was able to find and grab the railing. He held on with that hand while the woman tried to pull him down the stairs by his other. “I’m blind! I’m going to fall! I can’t see! I’m blind!” he kept shouting. The woman kept shouting back at him stuff like, “don’t you lie to me you pathetic bastard, you can see just fine! You’re about as blind as I am! You’re a lying son of a bitch!” and really mean stuff like that. What’s worse, there was a second old woman there too. I think she was friends with the first old woman. The three of them must travel together. When the old guy finally stopped their progress by grabbing onto that railing, the second old woman stopped halfway down the stairs and stood there, looking back at the old man and backing up all the mean stuff the first old woman said. The second woman saying stuff like, “Is he lying again, Edna? He is pathetic, that’s for sure. Son of a bitch, that’s right on!” The way both those old women were talking about that old guy, like he was some worthless dog who kept crapping inside or something, it really made me mad… those two old women were being bullies. It all made me want to run over to that second woman, slap those big terminator glasses old people wear off her face and that knit beanie off her head and start bumping my chest into her shriveled old one and shout, “You like it two against one!? You like it that way?! How about a fair fight!?! Just you and me!?! Bring it! Bring it, you old bitch!” But don’t worry, I didn’t.

Brian 10:28 PM

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House of Noh!

Thursday, January 06, 2005