E-mail: Brian7Morris "at" hotmail.com Archives March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 current Blogs Mandapants farkleberries Uranium City Records The C.M. Sienko Foundation Storyteller Musings Solotarian Views Lynne Wiora Tek Poker News Blog Some Biscuits Evil Eye Emporium Niggling Doubts Pressure Release Sara as Mommy runswithscissors Defective Yeti Afternoon Delight trancejen The Terrarium Bird Nird Slipperily Tofu Hut Stereo Gum Links Fixed Gear Gallery Get Crafty This is Grand Featherproof Books Gapers Block Chicago Bird Watching	No one must know my terrible secret... House of Noh! Tuesday, January 11, 2005 You know how, to protect people’s anonymity on this page, I usually refer to them as [first name] [last initial]? I’m not going to be able to follow that format for this entry. That’s because it’s not enough protection for what I’m about to disclose about somebody - let’s call her “X.” I’m about to disclose X’s terrible weakness. Ironically, I wouldn’t have ever even noticed her terrible weaknesses had X not always been asking me what other people’s weaknesses were. That’s how come I was paying attention to weaknesses and was able to identify hers. This is how it used to work when we’d talk about people’s weaknesses: I’d be describing some half-assed plan I had that might involve somebody I know. For background information, X would ask, “what’s their weakness?” Then I’d get all clinical psychologist and go into a long-winded discussion about how, for instance, I think Y's or Z’s weakness might originate in some deep part of their mind that has come to believe somehow that Y or Z is only capable of certain things, so that even though Y or Z has loads of talent and is really gifted, when Y or Z is confronted with a situation that might make him or her feel more successful than they feel they should be, they subconsciously sabotage it - all sorts of crap like that. X would pretend to listen politely, then she’d be like, “I mean, does Z or Y really like chocolate bars or beer or something?” Now that I understand what X means I can identify people’s weakness for her when she asks just by shouting a few words, like “sunflower seeds!” or “cough syrup” or “cashmere!” or “muscle cars!” or “big boobs!” or “crazy pimp hats” or “video games!” I probably don’t need to tell you which of these is MY terrible weakness. That’s right - crazy pimp hats!! I think I might get the pimp hat thing from my great grandma. My great grandma used to run with moonshiners named things like “Lucky” and “Lefty.” My grandma told me that my great grandma would take all the money the family had for a month to buy food and buy a big fancy hat with it that came in a big round cardboard hat box. Then my Grandma and her siblings would have to eat stolen cabbage cooked only in lard and a little mercury tainted fatty fish meat (if they were lucky!) for a whole month. Enough introduction! Here’s X’s terrible weakness: those empanadas they sell under the warmer on the counter at the Mercado on the corner of Southport and Grace. On a cold winter day you can see if they have any left by pushing your nose up against the street window and peering inside. X can’t resist them! Even after she eats one - I’m talking like fifteen minutes later - she’s still making this noise “MmmMMM” “mmmMMMMmmm” “MmmmmmMMMMmm” like a tiny little Frankenstein and won’t respond to anything I say. X will keep doing that until I can distract her with something else. Brian 1:35 AM Comments: Post a Comment

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House of Noh!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

You know how, to protect people’s anonymity on this page, I usually refer to them as [first name] [last initial]? I’m not going to be able to follow that format for this entry. That’s because it’s not enough protection for what I’m about to disclose about somebody - let’s call her “X.” I’m about to disclose X’s terrible weakness. Ironically, I wouldn’t have ever even noticed her terrible weaknesses had X not always been asking me what other people’s weaknesses were. That’s how come I was paying attention to weaknesses and was able to identify hers. This is how it used to work when we’d talk about people’s weaknesses: I’d be describing some half-assed plan I had that might involve somebody I know. For background information, X would ask, “what’s their weakness?” Then I’d get all clinical psychologist and go into a long-winded discussion about how, for instance, I think Y's or Z’s weakness might originate in some deep part of their mind that has come to believe somehow that Y or Z is only capable of certain things, so that even though Y or Z has loads of talent and is really gifted, when Y or Z is confronted with a situation that might make him or her feel more successful than they feel they should be, they subconsciously sabotage it - all sorts of crap like that. X would pretend to listen politely, then she’d be like, “I mean, does Z or Y really like chocolate bars or beer or something?” Now that I understand what X means I can identify people’s weakness for her when she asks just by shouting a few words, like “sunflower seeds!” or “cough syrup” or “cashmere!” or “muscle cars!” or “big boobs!” or “crazy pimp hats” or “video games!” I probably don’t need to tell you which of these is MY terrible weakness. That’s right - crazy pimp hats!! I think I might get the pimp hat thing from my great grandma. My great grandma used to run with moonshiners named things like “Lucky” and “Lefty.” My grandma told me that my great grandma would take all the money the family had for a month to buy food and buy a big fancy hat with it that came in a big round cardboard hat box. Then my Grandma and her siblings would have to eat stolen cabbage cooked only in lard and a little mercury tainted fatty fish meat (if they were lucky!) for a whole month. Enough introduction! Here’s X’s terrible weakness: those empanadas they sell under the warmer on the counter at the Mercado on the corner of Southport and Grace. On a cold winter day you can see if they have any left by pushing your nose up against the street window and peering inside. X can’t resist them! Even after she eats one - I’m talking like fifteen minutes later - she’s still making this noise “MmmMMM” “mmmMMMMmmm” “MmmmmmMMMMmm” like a tiny little Frankenstein and won’t respond to anything I say. X will keep doing that until I can distract her with something else.

Brian 1:35 AM

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House of Noh!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005