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No one must know my terrible secret...

House of Noh!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

I didn’t see who said it, but here’s an ACTUAL QUOTATION I heard from the alley below the exterior stairway landing to my apartment last night (presumably uttered by some asswipe on a bicycle):

“Oh my God! Riding a fixed, high, is amazing!!”

This is what I say to that: Grow up you asshole!

And here’s another QUOTE I heard later that evening at the grocery store. It came from this dude with a six pack of beer he was trying to purchase in the self-checkout lane with his two friends who were also buying six packs of beer. “Dude, do you have your Preferred Card on you?” the guy asked one of his friends. One of his friends did have his ‘Card on him, and handed it to the guy. This is what the guy exclaimed as he scanned in the bar code on the back of the card:

“You the man!”

Please don’t say that ever again.

I’ve got to get out of this neighborhood.

My guy at the laundr-o-mat - the one who wears all the gold chains and the medallions, the one with the 70% ring to finger ratio – I think he agrees with me about this neighborhood.

I was the last one last night at the laundr-o-mat, and when my laundr-o-mat guy pulled out his mop and bucket I sat up on a counter to keep my feet out of the way. When he finished mopping, he started cleaning out all the washers. “Hey Man!” he said to me, and lifted an abandoned, wet old sock out of a washing machine. “Hey Man! Is this thing yours?” I told him it wasn’t. A few machines later, he stood and lifted a filthy old dish rag above the level of the bank of washing machines. “Hey man, is this yours?” He also asked me about the soggy pile of old sweatshirt he pulled out of the next washer. “These fucking people!” he burst out when I said the sweatshirt wasn’t mine either. “They leave all their shit in my fucking machines! They leave whole loads in my driers! They leave their [unintelligible] fucking [unintelligible] fucking [unintelligible]… Stupid fuckers… Fucking idiots.”