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No one must know my terrible secret...

House of Noh!

Monday, May 09, 2005

I was at my parent’s house the other day – this is weeks ago now - and I had to wake up at 6:00 in the morning, striking off in the dewy morning dimness on 131 for farther north in Michigan yet. I told everybody they didn’t have to wake up with me, but they did anyway, and we sat around eating breakfast and drinking coffee. At least myself, Andrea, and Mom did. Dad joined us a little later.

Andrea: Have you seen the new Wisconsin quarter yet?

Me: Yeah, have you?

Andrea: No, but I’ve heard from my friends it’s got a picture of a buffalo with a boner on it!!

Mom: Wisconsin is the dairy state! It’s a cow! … and that’s not an erection, it’s a corncob!

Andrea: (laughing)

Dad: (appearing standing in the doorway to the kitchen, fresh out of bed, bleary eyed and blinking from the light) Hey, everybody…. Whas’ happening?

It was really funny.

Since this conversation I’ve seen the coin of which Andrea’s teen friends speak. It’s not the Wisconsin quarter – I think that is a cow, and that is a corn cob. Andrea’s friends are talking about the nickel, I think. There’s a picture of Thomas Jefferson, all close-up on the front, and on the back… a noble silhouette of the great American bison. And it’s true, the bison has a boner. I can only imagine the heated disagreement that occurred between the engraver and U.S. Currency Department higher-ups. The engraver, of course, insisted on achieving his artistic vision and portraying the bison with its boner. The U.S. Currency Department sought to uphold the American puritanical ideal and insisted adamantly on a neuter bison. Thirty years ago, I assure you, there would be no boner on ANY U.S. currency. But lo, the engraver and his artistic vision won out and certain 2005 nickels bear his artistic boner expression. How have we changed? What does this boner mean for our society?