E-mail: Brian7Morris "at" hotmail.com Archives March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 current Blogs Mandapants farkleberries Uranium City Records The C.M. Sienko Foundation Storyteller Musings Solotarian Views Lynne Wiora Tek Poker News Blog Some Biscuits Evil Eye Emporium Niggling Doubts Pressure Release Sara as Mommy runswithscissors Defective Yeti Afternoon Delight trancejen The Terrarium Bird Nird Slipperily Tofu Hut Stereo Gum Links Fixed Gear Gallery Get Crafty This is Grand Featherproof Books Gapers Block Chicago Bird Watching	No one must know my terrible secret... House of Noh! Saturday, July 02, 2005 I don't mean to imply that you, my gentle reader, need it explained to you why licking your fingers at the salad bar is disgusting. But, apparently, there are lots of people out there who do need this explained to them - gross, disgusting people who I HATE. I mean, I know that sometimes there is salad dressing on a salad dressing spoon, and sometimes these people get it on their fingers when they use the spoon. And I know that sometimes the green pepper slices tongs fall into the beets and get beet juice on them that these people then get on their fingers when they touch the tongs. But then, all of a sudden, just because they have a little salad dressing or beet juice on their hand they've got their whole hand in their mouth, licking and slurping away, only to pop that now-saliva drenched hand out of their mouth like a some sort of hairy, fleshy, lollipop and grab the tongs I was about to touch to put mushrooms wedges on my salad with? There is NO EXCUSE for that. Inevitably, after some jerk fellates his or her hand to get a small amount of blue cheese dressing or something off of it, he or she reaches over and grab the tongs for something I was just about to put on my salad. At that point, I WISH there was only salad dressing on those tongs. Now there's filthy jerk-spit all over them! And I have to make the very difficult decision on whether or not to go without chickpeas, for instance, on my salad or get jerk-spit all over my hands. Maybe these people know what they're doing. Maybe they just don't care. Because it's their spit. And they're probably going to be putting their hand back in their mouth in the near future anyway for some dumb reason. It's a tragedy of the commons, really. But so anyway, if you're at the salad bar, licking away and repeatedly touching the public tongs, don't try to pretend you don't understand why the guy in a wrinkled shirt and dumb-looking hair standing next to you at the salad bar is staring at you with hatred burning in his eyes (that's me, by the way). You filthy tong-licker. Brian 6:24 PM Comments: Post a Comment

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House of Noh!

Saturday, July 02, 2005

I don't mean to imply that you, my gentle reader, need it explained to you why licking your fingers at the salad bar is disgusting. But, apparently, there are lots of people out there who do need this explained to them - gross, disgusting people who I HATE. I mean, I know that sometimes there is salad dressing on a salad dressing spoon, and sometimes these people get it on their fingers when they use the spoon. And I know that sometimes the green pepper slices tongs fall into the beets and get beet juice on them that these people then get on their fingers when they touch the tongs. But then, all of a sudden, just because they have a little salad dressing or beet juice on their hand they've got their whole hand in their mouth, licking and slurping away, only to pop that now-saliva drenched hand out of their mouth like a some sort of hairy, fleshy, lollipop and grab the tongs I was about to touch to put mushrooms wedges on my salad with? There is NO EXCUSE for that. Inevitably, after some jerk fellates his or her hand to get a small amount of blue cheese dressing or something off of it, he or she reaches over and grab the tongs for something I was just about to put on my salad. At that point, I WISH there was only salad dressing on those tongs. Now there's filthy jerk-spit all over them! And I have to make the very difficult decision on whether or not to go without chickpeas, for instance, on my salad or get jerk-spit all over my hands. Maybe these people know what they're doing. Maybe they just don't care. Because it's their spit. And they're probably going to be putting their hand back in their mouth in the near future anyway for some dumb reason. It's a tragedy of the commons, really. But so anyway, if you're at the salad bar, licking away and repeatedly touching the public tongs, don't try to pretend you don't understand why the guy in a wrinkled shirt and dumb-looking hair standing next to you at the salad bar is staring at you with hatred burning in his eyes (that's me, by the way). You filthy tong-licker.

Brian 6:24 PM

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House of Noh!

Saturday, July 02, 2005