E-mail: Brian7Morris "at" hotmail.com Archives March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 current Blogs Mandapants farkleberries Uranium City Records The C.M. Sienko Foundation Storyteller Musings Solotarian Views Lynne Wiora Tek Poker News Blog Some Biscuits Evil Eye Emporium Niggling Doubts Pressure Release Sara as Mommy runswithscissors Defective Yeti Afternoon Delight trancejen The Terrarium Bird Nird Slipperily Tofu Hut Stereo Gum Links Fixed Gear Gallery Get Crafty This is Grand Featherproof Books Gapers Block Chicago Bird Watching	No one must know my terrible secret... House of Noh! Sunday, November 20, 2005 Instead of going into work today, I wrapped my cell phone in some plastic wrap and slid my kayak down the muddy bank behind Sharon P’s house and into the Chicago River. Because, come on bitches, it’s Sunday! The water was low, and I knocked against chunks of concrete resting on the pavers, which sucks. But on the plus side I didn’t fall out of the kayak and get the river water in my holes trying to paddle up the rapids under the bridge where North Park students usually stand and spectate my foibles. And I developed this technique where I choke down on the paddle and then go apeshit paddling rapid-fire little strokes, which kind of seems to help in the shallow riffles where I have trouble getting a good bite with my paddle. I also found some sweet, sweet river trash (no bikes, though): an aluminum briefcase, an old wood crate that looks like it used to hold German WWII stick grenades, a sweet vintage clock radio, and the kind of grocery cart that old ladies pull down sidewalks with, get this, NO WHEELS MISSING. And I cursed myself bitterly for not having built a paper mache garbage scow to tow behind the kayak (yet) for river garbage collection purposes. For a while a rat ran along the bank beside me. As I paddled, I watched him run, scurrying over trash, leaping with its naked filthy rat-tail corkscrewing in the air to keep its balance as he made fantastic agile leaps over broken beer bottles. For a while there on the river, with me paddling and him scurrying, we shared one soul. We were brothers. But because I was busy watching the rat and not where I was going, I ran into a partly submerged shopping cart covered by a gross old bathmat and nearly lost my paddle. While I was preoccupied the rat jumped and disappeared into a tangle of old brush and seaweed. I’ve written about Chicago’s rats before. And in fact, I’m the CEO of a small, start-up eco-tourism company call Rat Spotting, LLC. All I’m saying is that I know lots of fun-facts about the Norwegian Rat. Brian 7:03 PM Comments: No bikes? Dude...here in the Hoosier state, we have so many bikes clogging our fair waterways that I usually throw em'back. No Huffys, Murrays, or other crap department store bikes will ever see the inside of my $50 garage-sale canoe. I will only pick a river bike if it's a good one. Next time you visit, we'll have to go see what kind of two-wheeled bounty the mighty St. Joe has to offer..... # posted by ace : 11:15 AM wow B. You can find bikes in dumpsters and will have less rust! I know I know you are the big lawyer, not me but rust is a big issue...... Now was it a male rat? were his balls bouncing off the the empty beer bottles that he was hurdling? WOW super nasty! rochelle # posted by Anonymous : 7:23 PM Post a Comment

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House of Noh!

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Instead of going into work today, I wrapped my cell phone in some plastic wrap and slid my kayak down the muddy bank behind Sharon P’s house and into the Chicago River. Because, come on bitches, it’s Sunday! The water was low, and I knocked against chunks of concrete resting on the pavers, which sucks. But on the plus side I didn’t fall out of the kayak and get the river water in my holes trying to paddle up the rapids under the bridge where North Park students usually stand and spectate my foibles. And I developed this technique where I choke down on the paddle and then go apeshit paddling rapid-fire little strokes, which kind of seems to help in the shallow riffles where I have trouble getting a good bite with my paddle. I also found some sweet, sweet river trash (no bikes, though): an aluminum briefcase, an old wood crate that looks like it used to hold German WWII stick grenades, a sweet vintage clock radio, and the kind of grocery cart that old ladies pull down sidewalks with, get this, NO WHEELS MISSING. And I cursed myself bitterly for not having built a paper mache garbage scow to tow behind the kayak (yet) for river garbage collection purposes. For a while a rat ran along the bank beside me. As I paddled, I watched him run, scurrying over trash, leaping with its naked filthy rat-tail corkscrewing in the air to keep its balance as he made fantastic agile leaps over broken beer bottles. For a while there on the river, with me paddling and him scurrying, we shared one soul. We were brothers. But because I was busy watching the rat and not where I was going, I ran into a partly submerged shopping cart covered by a gross old bathmat and nearly lost my paddle. While I was preoccupied the rat jumped and disappeared into a tangle of old brush and seaweed. I’ve written about Chicago’s rats before. And in fact, I’m the CEO of a small, start-up eco-tourism company call Rat Spotting, LLC. All I’m saying is that I know lots of fun-facts about the Norwegian Rat.

Brian 7:03 PM

Comments:

No bikes? Dude...here in the Hoosier state, we have so many bikes clogging our fair waterways that I usually throw em'back. No Huffys, Murrays, or other crap department store bikes will ever see the inside of my $50 garage-sale canoe. I will only pick a river bike if it's a good one. Next time you visit, we'll have to go see what kind of two-wheeled bounty the mighty St. Joe has to offer.....

# posted by ace : 11:15 AM

wow B. You can find bikes in dumpsters and will have less rust!

I know I know you are the big lawyer, not me but rust is a big issue......

Now was it a male rat? were his balls bouncing off the the empty beer bottles that he was hurdling? WOW super nasty! rochelle

# posted by Anonymous : 7:23 PM

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House of Noh!

Sunday, November 20, 2005