Archives

March 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
current

Blogs

No one must know my terrible secret...

House of Noh!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

For those who don't (and didn't) want to see my ear wax picture, I am providing an alternate picture as a means of making amends. This is me wearing my new pair of glasses that I bought when I was at a thrift store with Sharon P. They've got detailling on the huge plastic frames to conform with the aesthetics of some old dude who reads both Omni Magazine and Popular Science. The lenses are two different sizes and shapes. The right lens is really, really thick, and the left lens is thicker. And as you'll notice, my head, viewed through the glasses, is only three inches wide. I'd call my new specs floundervision (because it makes my head narrow, not because it makes both eyes move to the same side of my head), but one lens is wall-eye and the other is inescapably house of mirrors vision.

I found these on the counter at the Thrift Store on Lincoln. They didn't have a price on them, but I wanted them really bad. I took them up to the counter and asked how much, and I was nervous, because what if the counter person said $20? Would it really have been worth $20 to buy a pair of glasses that I can't see through and, in fact, made my vision worse.

So I trepidatiously approached the counter, and asked for a price. The counter person was like, "You want to buy those? " I was like, "yeah. How much?" Then the counter lady snorted like I was an idiot and told me she would sell them to me for one dollar, inclusive of sales tax. And it was like this: A MIRACLE.

Later I sat in Dinkels, spilling Earl Grey, missing a cinnamon role with my fork, giggling and generally refusing to take off my new glasses until I had a huge headache. So now I only wear them with respect, and for photo opportunities... and for calculating how much money I'm going to make selling crap on E-bay... and for doing my taxes.