E-mail: Brian7Morris "at" hotmail.com
Archives
March 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
current
Blogs
Mandapantsfarkleberries
Uranium City Records
The C.M. Sienko Foundation
Storyteller Musings
Solotarian Views
Lynne Wiora
Tek
Poker News Blog
Some Biscuits
Evil Eye Emporium
Niggling Doubts
Pressure Release
Sara as Mommy
runswithscissors
Defective Yeti
Afternoon Delight
trancejen
The Terrarium
Bird Nird
Slipperily
Tofu Hut
Stereo Gum
Links
Fixed Gear GalleryGet Crafty
This is Grand
Featherproof Books
Gapers Block
Chicago Bird Watching
No one must know my terrible secret...
House of Noh!
Friday, January 27, 2006
Lots of people seem to stake their entire cool on the vilification of iceberg lettuce. Me? I'm hedging my bets, because it's just a matter of time before the Iceberg Lettuce Federation hires a new PR firm which then convinces them to pay off some jerk researchers at some ivy league institution for fire to publish a study about how Iceberg Lettuce actually is good for you because it contains some contrived chemical-name like iso-flavo-lettucinos which really just means “lettuce molecules.” This trend has already begun: Lucy Lettuce is already associating with the FDA Food Pyramid Five a Day Friends.I’ve had to wrestle with these lettuce issues lately, because a bagger at the grocery put somebody else’s pre-washed, sliced pure iceberg in my bag (yes, with my taco shells). I’ve been eating it on sandwiches. But don’t think for a second I’m eating iceberg lettuce on tacos. I’m not a cretin!!
The Weekly World News has a very useful article on 10 ways to tell if your neighbor worships Satan. Number 5 is “They rarely laugh, or laugh under the wrong circumstances – for example, when a child is hit by a car.”
I’ve got this one neighbor; I don’t think that he worships Satan. But I am starting to suspect that he might be a prostitute. I just had a conversation with one of his gentleman callers who pushed my intercom buzzer by mistake, a very timid man who referenced not my neighbor’s name but very courteously described some sort of enigmatic “recent phone call.” I’ll keep you posted.
Brian 4:38 PM
